All of Nothingness
by death-in-the-orchard
Summary: Abraham van Hellsing and Alucard - when an experiment has some demanding side effects...what will the master do to fix this situation?
1. Chapter 1

There was foreboding, choking silence in the dungeon, that screamed and deafened one's sense of hearing, making the eyes widen and the heart jump at each shadow the mind conjured from the darkness. The shadows dispelled like burning, fragile pages from a forsaken Bible when the light of a swinging lantern set the dungeon aflame with a ring of light. Abraham van Hellsing stared defiantly into this blinding darkness and he broke it ungracefully when he resumed his steps, hard boots clashing against the naked stones. He delved deeper into the dungeon, moving towards a chamber that served as his blood rusted lab where scientists were seeing to the continued experiments that were performed on his undead slave. His cobalt blue eyes flashed with recognition when they locked onto the white, smudged door where a small rectangular window at eye level granted him a view of what was going inside without disrupting the scientist's progress.

Hellsing narrowed his eyes while making his mouth frown, perplexed. Someone was standing before the door, and then they moved and were replaced with someone else. Mouths were moving and, this close to the door, Abraham could hear the buzz of continuous voices. Blue eyes blinked and a gloved hand met the handle of the door, opening it as scientists started and gave him entrance. The man managed to step past the doorway and glance about the room, but when the latch of the door behind him clicked, isolating the lab, his gaze stumbled upon the vampire that was huddled in the corner of the room, his feet slipping silently as he pressed further into the wall. Crimson eyes stared straight ahead between pale slender fingers that covered his face, moving roughly over his features. A finger caught in his hair, but the hand didn't pause, continuing as before and tearing out strands of hair from the knot. What sounded like a faint hiss in the background of the chamber was determined to originate from the vampire's moving lips that whispered incoherent words…or so the scientists believed to be the case, too afraid to approach the creature to find out for sure.

"What is he doing?" Abraham breathed, revulsion and curiosity fighting for dominance in his features. He glanced around at the men as if they held the answer. Realizing they were just as lost as he, the man frowned and stepped forward with caution. "What did you do to him?" he murmured emotionlessly and the men dithered before telling Hellsing about the series of chemicals that had been injected into the beast.

"He tore out of the blessed bondage…" spoke a sheepish man who recalled the horrific scene. "They ripped his body apart…but he was just…oblivious." The scientist stared at the white surgical table with the gnarled metal straps that resembled a decimated ribcage now that they twisted outwards grotesquely. "He healed instantly though…the blood…coming to life…following him as he staggered about and finally ended up where he is now."

"How long has this been going on?" Abraham reached his slave's feet and he gazed down at the blank eyes that were looking right through his legs.

"Minutes, Sir. We've…he haven't kept track…"

The scientists were more disturbed by the behavior than Hellsing was, numbly wondering what the man would do to them if the vampire remained this way. Some gasped when Abraham leaned over the creature, waving his hand before Alucard's face.

Hellsing furrowed his brow when the beast's eyes didn't register the movement, not even flinching. A fluctuation in volume from the rambling whispers made the man jerk and pale.

"What is this?...Where am I?" the airy questions continued, becoming fainter as Hellsing stared.

"ALUCARD!"

The scientists jumped at the sudden exclamation, but the vampire didn't respond. Alucard curled awkwardly, smacking his nose into his knee as he stilled his legs. He didn't seem to notice the blood that flowed from it afterwards. Abraham recoiled, stepping back, away from the damned being.

"Alucard!"

Nothing changed, making the man curse to himself. "I don't think he can hear me…" or see me…Hellsing thought…can he not feel?

No one spoke as Hellsing assessed the situation. Slowly, he triggered the seal.

The red eyes shot open as the vampire threw back his head, cracking it against the cement wall, causing blood to dribble down his neck and stain his collar. Alucard gave an earth shattering scream that sent hands flying to cover the men's ears. Abraham immediately ended the seal, stumbling backwards as the piercing voice left, hissing in pain. He shook his head to rid himself of the ringing that was left behind.

"Damn it." Hellsing winced with a groan that was echoed by the other humans he turned to crossly, shouting orders. He stopped when one of the men stared past him and pointed.

"Sir…turn around…" a man whispered with wide eyes.

Hellsing turned and froze. His eyes refused to register the tremors that shook his huddled slave, but they were forced to when the man's stupor shattered with the stilling of the creature's body and the lines of red that ran down its face, delicate, streaming ribbons wrapping around the pure white features.

*~*~:.+.:~*~*

Abraham began ordering men out of the room, allowing only two to remain. Hellsing was planning on resorting to the risky task of draining the creature of blood in order to immobilize it before it hurt someone. Abraham readied, pulling out a long, curved knife from the collage of metal that hung on the wall, and he bent forward to slice through the creature's neck and to stab him in the heart. The man hesitated though, when he recognized that Alucard had fallen into a sleep-like state, with his eyes closed and his unnecessary breaths coming in a steady rhythm. Tears were still coming from the creature's eyes, but they were seeping into a small smile.

Abraham was dumbfounded.

"He's happy." The man whispered for only his own ears to hear. "Why is he happy about this?"

He cast aside these thoughts and cut into the undead flesh. Blood drained for mere seconds before it retreated back into the nosferatu's body, dismaying the scientists. Abraham sighed, but was unfazed.

"We'll have to use the seal to drain his energy."

The scientists scurried out of the room, followed by Hellsing who shut and bolted the door. They could still hear the screams as they left the dungeon air for the main level of the mansion.

*~*~:.+.:~*~*

_I'm dead._

_The thought echoed in the black…or white realm. There was no color. No distinction. There was no sound, touch, even a taste in the being's own mouth. There was no air, no sensation brought with breathing…and one could not feel if one was breathing, or really moving…at all. The vampire imagined a position, trying to feel himself, to find something of substance. It was like he was…nothing…but thought. Nothing…at all._

_Humor flooded into the dead mind, giving the allusion of warmth, but it was chilled by peace that settled like a veil over the mind._

_If I am dead…the creature thought, still trying to move and feel…would this form of death…be undesirable? _

_Pain. Pain cascaded into the vampire and the thought he had existed as was burned away by the sheer agony. Then it was gone and the whitened mind slowly dimmed and allowed thought once more._

_Just like the seal, Alucard mused, feeling anxiety on the edge of his consciousness, as well as bliss. What if I am dead? They accidentally killed me… My Master would be angry…but why think of the man? At a time like this? If this is my death…or if it was…then it was pathetic…but where I am now…with bouts of pain…yet consciousness…I think I would deserve a worse eternity. Not feeling…isolation…it's like dreaming…sleep…and I rather like it, actually. Don't I? To sleep and never wake up…I've fantasized about it so..many..many times. The pain interrupts it, punishment….for everything I've done….but it's not terrible…if it stops like this. It's not worse than life…it's bearable…because of the peace…the total sleep. God…is this all it takes to make me happy? Pitiful…but I can't deny the truth. I…_

_Pain descended on the mind and nothing else could occupy the existence…except for a single thought… I wonder if anyone can hear my screams?_

*~*~:.+.:~*~*


	2. Chapter 2

_"How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads, to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams." _

_~Bram Stoker_

*~*~: : .+. : :~*~*

Abraham could hear the beast's cries as he returned to the dungeon alone, sparing the other mortals as they insisted upon making themselves useless for the moment, while the hunters would only pose as a threat to the damaged creature. Hellsing stood silently without thoughts occupying his mind, staring at the smudged door as muffled screams pierced through the metal that should have been able to swallow the sound. He had no capacity for pity in his heart. At least, he had not reserved any room for compassion directed towards demons. The screams did nothing but send a slight shiver down the bones of his wrist, making his hand twitch by his side, hesitating as it readied to open the door. Abraham ended the influence of the seal, killing the screams. Only assaulted by echoes that rung in his mind, Hellsing's hand clutched the latch on the door and he forced it open.

Cold steel blue eyes swept across the room, almost expecting to find the monster moved from his dejected corner. But when his eyes focused on the black shape, Alucard was huddled, leaning against the wall as he had been before. A hitched breath caught in the abused throat and Alucard gave a ragged cough that broke his instinctive panting, telling of the toll the seal had taken on his body. His limbs were convulsing as the dead nerves held lingering pulses from the seal. Blood dripped from his plastered hair, standing as the form of sweat the corpse could secrete, all of which contributed to the morbid aura that thickened the air.

Hellsing licked his lips out of habit, unsure, for a moment, if he should feel more for the pitiable scene or the apparent failure his attempt had concluded with in fixing the situation. Alucard hadn't acknowledged his presence in any way, while the vampire was well educated in the consequences for such a show of disrespect. Sharp steps were erased by the groan let out by the aching creature that coughed again, speckling his sleeve with blood. Abraham now stood over his slave, listening as thought failed him once more.

Test... He needed to know what he was dealing with here. The man crouched down, then moved to his knees as he needed to be able to reach the demon easily. But the hand hovered over the undead being, realizing that Alucard had coughed into his sleeve. Leaning back, Hellsing's eyes scrutinized the position his slave was tucked into, unable to detect the same awkwardness from before. Something had changed. The pain flushing out the monster's nerves had managed to do something… Abraham mused, the shadow of his hand moving to the vampire as he frowned. His fingertips made contact with the beast's shoulder.

Alucard jolted, startling Abraham who fell away from the vampire with a gasp, jamming his fingers into the hard floor as he attempted to catch himself. With a hiss, the man grasped his throbbing fingers and sat glaring at Alucard, but his blue eyes lost the brightness anger had brought to them as he observed the dim red eyes that were moving to find him. Alucard didn't make a sound, and, though curiosity whittled his features, his body was rigid and defensive, having felt a pulse from the seal when he had caused his master's discomfort. The fingers still throbbed but Abraham released them, running his other hand through his hair with a composing sigh. He returned to his knees, touching the demon on the arm this time. His grip tightened, watching Alucard's expression to find any changes. The crimson eyes narrowed when the pressure came to the point where it could block blood flow, and the thoughtful monster snatched the form to see if it was connected to a wrist. His fingers slid over skin and cloth as he sought to find if the wrist was connected to an arm, widening blue eyes. But the man did not resist the touch, intrigued by the beast's uncertainty and obvious hesitation as its fingers rounded his shoulder and reached the pulse in his neck.

Alucard had already known that the form was alive from the fragile pulse he had received from the initial touch, but there was a reason for doubt as to the nature of the life as the demon still played with the thought of his being dead. Gingerly skimming the recognizably human skin, a new interest came to the vampire, pondering the reason why a human heart would lack the sporadic flutter of fear in his presence. There was only one mortal who could possess such a strong-willed heart, but the dead hands sought the man's features for reassurance, slowing after they felt the shape of a jaw and began to creep up towards the cheekbones, drawing out a portrait of the structure in his mind.

Hellsing calmly relaxed his body, having no reason to feel apprehension towards the contact, only the same interest from before. Under different circumstances it would never have been imaginable to have the vampire willingly touch him so gently, or at all. The beast only gave him hisses and snarls and any contact between the two was initiated by the man himself in the form of a severe beating or an experiment he partook in. Humans couldn't survive if they ever felt the soft caresses of an unnaturally perfect being…but Alucard couldn't harm Hellsing, so the man endured in silence.

He shivered despite himself, the icy chill of the dead being seeping through his skin, and Hellsing's eyes lowered to his beast's hands for a moment. Against his instincts that screamed to the contrary, when the white fingers neared his eyes, Abraham closed them. A spike of anxiety almost managed to pass through him at the sudden vulnerability, but the feeling was unsupported by the reality of the circumstances. Alucard's hands passed over his brow and skimmed through a few strands of hair. Then they stopped.

Blue eyes opened, watching the thoughtfulness begin to fade from the slave. Abraham was preoccupied with what had just happened, so he flinched when a finger flicked his forehead, barely brushing his skin. Remembering himself, the man scowled back at the frown on the vampire's face and he grabbed the hand that was returning to Alucard. The beast showed no response from this, and his face was still blank when Abraham crushed the hand into the stones with his own.

"You don't have permission to disregard me just because of your position, Slave." Abraham growled. His eye twitched in annoyance when it was obvious that Alucard had not heard the remark, so the man stood and stepped on the demon's fingers for spite. Hellsing gazed down at the silent being, losing his own emotion from the influence of Alucard's empty expression. The memory of the vampire's smile and tears from a few hours before came to the man's mind. His hand opened and closed for a moment, as he deliberated about what he should do next. Imperfection was unsatisfactory. Hellsing desired his perfect vampire to be in perfect working order. So the man gripped the vampire's garments, easily drawing his wasted form from the ground. He let go when the being found its footing and stood on its own, but when Alucard did nothing else Abraham realized, with a groan, that he would have to lead the creature if he wanted it to follow him.

Holding on to the demon directly seemed degrading, so blue eyes darted about the lab, searching for a rope among the other items organized on a few metal carts. Finding nothing, Hellsing looked at the instruments hanging from the wall. There were restraints and even a gag, but nothing that could act as a leash. Abraham closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he rejected the humor he felt from this. Giving in, Abraham reached for the demon's sleeve, tugging on it to hint at what was going on. Walking to the door, Hellsing peered over his shoulder as the vampire followed. He felt as if he were guiding a child…

The man's spiking aversion was released on the door, and it was shoved open, giving enough room for the man to exit. But as Alucard left the doorway the metal door was closing. Expecting something like this from the man, the vampire stepped to the side and continued after his Master, ignorant of the frustrated scowl he received in return. Hellsing strode down the corridor, pulling impatiently on his slave.

Red eyes were lowered to the floor they could not see, but, for their uselessness they refused to close. Black. Everything was painted with a moonless night shade, somehow calming the creature now, as the pulse he could feel like a small flame near his wrist spread throughout his arm, soaked through his shoulder, and invaded the rest of his body. Without sight, taste, hearing, scent, or his sixth sense, his sense of touch was all that existed in his world. And that touch consisted of only his master and the cold stones he could feel under his bare feet. The contrasting temperatures heightened the experience, soothing him into a mindless state.

Because of this, when the man stopped at a cell door and pulled out his ring of keys, the vampire didn't notice at first, and walked into him.

Abraham inhaled quickly as his balance was threatened by the collision. The keys jingled in his hand and fell to the floor as he was forced to step back to catch himself, and the widened eyes instantly became a glare that darted to the vampire who stood silently beside him now. He hissed something in his native tongue and slapped away the hand in the sleeve he had been holding before bending down to retrieve the keys.

He was frustrated more by how reasonable the mistake had been, and that it was the man's own fault that it had occurred. Grumbling to the contrary, Abraham stood up and stabbed the key into the keyhole and turned it before roughly returning the ring to the strap on his waist. Still muttering to himself, Abraham wrenched open the door without realizing that Alucard was in its path. The metal door hit the vampire's shoulder with such force that his head fell towards it, smacking against its sharp corner. Quieted by the second mistake, Hellsing stared as the being didn't bother moving, knowing that the vampire was assuming that this was his punishment for walking into his master. Blue eyes trailed the blood that seeped down the split ear, pearling at the bottom of it before slithering back into the wound to heal it. Queer things like this always fascinated Hellsing, though he never showed it on his face, and he calmly touched his slave's shoulder, pushing it back a step to get out of the way before he opened the door.

He took the sleeve again as he squinted into the cell, searching for the black casket that had dusted during the few weeks it had been neglected. Without bothering to brush it off, Abraham opened the lid and drew the hand towards it so that Alucard would touch it. The creature blinked as it felt the familiar texture and its fingers closed around it, pausing for permission to do more.

After a moment, the vampire slowly crouched to feel the sides of the coffin before he got into it and closed the lid. Abraham watched without comment, still unused to the quiet behavior, and the slight guilt he felt from hitting Alucard with the door. Biting his lip, he turned on his heel and stalked towards the door.

He would return in another hour or so to check on his slave, and when the vampire was healed, he would send it back to the lab to finish the experiments. The thoughts he was having, the memory of the smooth, chilled fingers grazing his skin, made goosebumps rise on the back of his neck and his arm twitched unnaturally. He didn't like the spark of pleasurable excitement it sent down his spine.


	3. Chapter 3

Alucard relaxed his aching muscles, or at least attempted to as they continued to spasm, contracting and loosening without permission. Eventually his body began to obey him, realizing that it was just as exhausted as his mind, and the vampire was able to slip into a dreamless sleep.

His master was on his balcony, hands clutching the railing he leaned onto with blue eyes fixed on the deep red horizon that was darkening into a lightless night. He could not see a moon appearing in the sky…

The man's mind was only snaring these images as it desperately tried to ignore the memory of the vampire's fingers on his skin. The hands like those of a Greek god carved from stone, centuries ago…perfectly smooth, cold, and lifeless, but moving… The sensation was indescribable…as was the shame that bore into the man's chest. This was a demon, his slave…whom John Seward and his other newer acquaintances had entrusted him with…to treat Dracula like the monster he was…not to indulge in sinful human desire…

His eyes widened and he shook his head, dropping his gaze to his boots. His arms lost some of their strength, though his knuckles turned white when he squeezed the railing. "I desire nothing from the monster…" Hellsing murmured, his eyes unfocusing. "He is a disgusting wretch…" The mortal's teeth grated against each other while the man's eyes began to brighten. "My soul will not be conquered by the likes of a vampire!" He declared in a sharp snarl and released the railing, stepping back to glare at the approaching night. But a contradicting chill struck his body…drawing all thought from Hellsing as his eyes dimmed.

*~*~::..+..::~*~*

No, the man thought as he paced back and forth in his office. There was a long shelf of books to his side, but he ignored them and kept pacing. I need to figure out how to fix him…he is useless now, completely useless. A suggestive thought came to mind but he brushed it away with a hiss. No, he needed to give the creature blood…it would help heal him, of that the man was sure. But Hellsing was hesitating, loath to reward his vampire for being handicapped.

As no other alternatives came to mind, Abraham left his office and began his journey to the dungeon.

*~*~::..+..::~*~*

Hellsing quickly awakened the beast by forcing open its coffin and dragging it out by its hair, causing the creature to start.

His head was dropped onto the floor, but Alucard didn't respond to the rough treatment, having become accustomed to it by now. The man was constantly abusing him. The vampire would curse and bare his fangs in return, but all of that would amount to nothing in the end. So, as he couldn't even determine where his master's face was, he refrained from snarling when a hand impatiently ripped at his hair to make him sit up faster. He was in no position to complain at the moment. He wanted to regain his senses, so he was willing to comply with the man for the time being.

Alucard blinked when something warm wetted his lips, and he pulled away from the foreign substance in surprise, wiping his mouth as his mind raced to determine what kind of chemical or fluid his master was trying to feed him. It could have been anything… Then, as the mind dwelled on the question, Alucard slowly recognized the texture of the substance.

Abraham had been stunned when the creature resisted him, but the thoughtful look on Alucard's face explained the reaction. The man overlooked the exchange and offered his palm once more.

Was it really blood? A pale hand circled around the wrist and felt for the source of the liquid. Finding it, a divot in the skin was discovered as well, calming Alucard who then licked his fingers to clean them before leaning forward to accept the blood his master was giving him. Abraham's eyes dilated at the touches from the vampire and he watched all of this quietly. Now, as his slave's tongue lapped at the smeared blood on the side of his palm, heat began to build around the wound, throbbing like a second heart. Alucard couldn't taste the blood to notice the hormonal change that would have told him of his master's plight, but he did feel the increasing heart rate. Mistaking it for anger, as he was not foolish enough to believe that his master could be feeling fear, he let go of the hand and leaned away from the man. As sensitive as his sense of touch was at the moment, he had no desire to encourage the man to punish him with a beating or a painful experiment.

Abraham almost groaned with dissatisfaction when Alucard stopped and suddenly moved away from him, and the human sighed, letting his hand fall to his lap as he sat on his heels. Blue eyes ran over the wound, lingering on the glint left from the area where the vampire's tongue had touched his skin, and he closed his eyes. Biting his lip, hard, to bring himself back into reality, Hellsing leaned towards the vampire, cupping its face to snap his fingers by its ear to see if Alucard could detect the sound. He moved his hand to his slave's mouth to see if the beast could smell, but Alucard remained unchanged in his responses. His eyes were just as sightless as he gazed at the floor, sitting identically to Abraham. As this continued, Abraham's other hand did not move, his palm pressed against the cold cheek. The human's features slackened, feeling the godly perfection with a growing obsession.

Alucard was a true vampire…not like the common, hideous demons the man would find on his hunts, which were sometimes ghoulish in appearance. No. Alucard had the seductive grace that his species was legendary for. At this, Abraham almost felt pride in his ownership of this creature, that it was a privilege that he had come across and captured it. Almost. He almost felt this, but didn't, remembering the sweet child this demon had killed…Lucy, the woman John had loved…whom Arthur Holmwood was to have wed.

During this time, Hellsing hadn't realized that his fingers were now stroking Alucard's cheek, but the beast noticed this with rising apprehension. Finally, unable to endure the touch for another moment, he jerked away, bringing the revelation to his master. Abraham frowned at the independent action, but he did nothing to tell the creature he was displeased. Instead, he grabbed its shirt and drew it towards him so that he could test its reflexes.

Alucard resisted lightly, giving in as he was still reluctant to earn a beating and remembered the dependence he had on the man, seeing Hellsing as the cure for his state. The vampire chewed on his cheek as he felt himself stripped of the garment, touched by the invasive coolness of the air. But the hands seemed to be doing something meaningful, moving his joints and applying force to pressure points, so the demon remained obedient. Though, it didn't seem entirely necessary. His master must be aware of the fact that he could feel and move as he should. When large hands dropped his elbow, he bit down on his cheek as one went to his neck.

Abraham dragged his fingers up the beast's throat, his lips twitching when he felt the vampire flinch. After a moment, Hellsing's hand descended down, towards the chest, mesmerized by the absence of flaws.

Alucard's eyes widened with shock as the hand met the center of his chest and then moved to the side, caressing his skin.

There is no reason for this.

The vampire scooted out of the man's reach, startling Abraham who almost followed, but restrained himself. He glared at the creature until he noticed Alucard's odd expression. It was something resembling disappointment and anger. Growling at the absurdity in this, he grabbed at the demon's shoulder only to have his hand pushed away. Now the man hissed in fury.

"I'm not molesting you, you stupid beast!" He reached out for the vampire again, but was resisted. Alucard scooted farther way, baring his fangs defensively as his eyes tried to lock onto the human's position.

I'm not doing anything to you, damn it! Hellsing closed the growing distance between them with this thought, then stopped before touching Alucard again. I'm not…am I? No. He scoffed and grabbed Alucard's hair, pulling him closer. To his surprise, the vampire went rigid and then tugged at the grip with a strange, animal-like growl in his throat, one that he obviously didn't hear himself. The struggle intensified as Abraham pulled harder.

"No…"

The word caught Hellsing by surprise, and he froze for a moment. Then the distorted voice registered and he scowled, repulsed by the sound of it, but his temper flared at what his slave was accusing him of. A fist flew at the vampire, striking its face.

"I'm not doing anything!" Abraham snarled, yanking Alucard's hair. The vampire hissed and twisted away from him, making the blue eyes flare. The fist descended again and Hellsing shook the creature in frustration. As Alucard continued to resist, Abraham gave up and shoved him away. Hellsing stood and ripped strands of hair from the vampire's head as he dragged it to its coffin and then dropped the head so that it would hit the wood.

"Go back to sleep." Abraham spat, turning before Alucard was able to register what was going on. Alucard climbed into the coffin with a dark expression of hate on his face as the door was slammed shut, leaving an echoing blast of sound in the room that registered as a whisper in the vampire's ear. Pausing at the sound, Alucard brought his hand to his ear and touched it. He snapped his fingers, but couldn't tell if he heard them or just felt their movement. Sighing, the demon settled in his casket after finding and closing the lid.

The man... Hellsing, owned him. Of that he was painfully aware. The man could do anything he wanted to him, if he so chose. Somehow, he was still disgusted that by pretending to help the vampire, the man was taking advantage of Alucard's state. All he was intent upon was his own selfish pleasures…but why should the man not do this? Alucard was his slave…a monster the man had defeated… Did the creature not deserve it?

The beast closed its eyes.

Of course I deserve it…but the man…to use me in such a way… A low growl rumbled in the coffin.

And what this can mean...because of the seal… This is unacceptable. I will never allow it. The man will not be permitted to treat me this way… I will not become his whore.


End file.
